When it comes to dating advice for singletons, there are a lot of resources one can turn to. However, not all are up to par with expectations. The truth is, many authors copy each other’s work in the hope to get sales. This leaves genuinely unsuspecting customers cut short and disappointed about their usually dire dating problem.
When people think of relationship advice questions, numerous come to mind. Whether one has to pay for it or gets relationship advice free, it comes down to being discerning in one’s search to be able to distinguish the wheat from the chaff. How do you begin? It all starts with common sense.
To attract a person, one primarily has to be what one would be attracted to in the first place. Regardless of situations, irrespective of opinions. We get what we give out and whether we’re searching for relationship advice quotes or a relationship advice forum, we’ll always end up finding what we are inside. So we can’t be one thing and expect to find another thing entirely different in our search. Why? Because 90% of our thought processes and behaviour are subconscious, meaning that what we have been conditioned with, is what we end up going towards, whether positive or negative. That’s why it’s so important to watch our thoughts and audit ourselves internally before we even begin to look for a significant other. You could find the best portal or product on relationship counselling that answers all your relationship counselling questions and even challenges you with a relationship counselling quiz. If, however, you’re, for example, mostly focused on your own needs and are largely egocentric, you’ll only look for information that fits your perspective, regardless how much awesome, quality content is provided to find a great partner and be your best possible self. Like attracts like and if you ‘always end up’ with certain negative characters, it’s not a fault of the world, you need to look within.
You don’t need to hire an expensive psychologist to ‘sort yourself out’. A simple yet effective way of assessing yourself is by journalling. Go to a quiet place where you can be alone with your thoughts and get comfortable. Go down memory lane and reflect on happy days. When you were with a certain person who made you happy, what exactly pleased you about them? Write that down, elaborately. Give many examples.
How did you feel when you were in their presence? What was it like whenever you had to go away from them? Write it down. What were you like overall by being with them? How did they influence you and to what degree? Write all those answers down. What were your dominant thoughts when you were with them? What was your lifestyle like and how did you look at yourself when you were with them? All those answers you think of, write them down in detail. You can never write enough.
Then, leave the place and come back the next day. The 24 hours in between will give your mind enough warm up to come up with greater details that you originally missed. Expand on all your answers and really reflect on every one. What you have in your notebook is your reflection of who you are inside when you’re with someone you’re strongly attracted to. That kind of person is who you’re looking for because your subconscious mind invokes all those emotions that you felt and seeks it constantly when you’re with ‘someone new’. It’s only when you have that kind of information, that you can accurately focus on your ideal partner in your new search. If the results are ‘negative’, if you suffered with a certain person, the exercise isn’t bad either, because you just interviewed your subconscious mind to know exactly what you don’t like, don’t want and want to stay away from. It’s a win-win in any case.
It’s said that nowadays, love is harder to find since sex became easier to get. In the age of sexting, flings, NSAs, friends with benefits, and the likes, it’s hard not to agree with that notion. Many people even on dating sites just want ‘fun’ and aren’t overly interested in serious relationships. Maybe they’ve realized it’s a lot of work involved. A lot of people want to reap the fruits but not perform the labour. They want to start at the top but not climb the mountain. Like an according quote goes, the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
To find your significant other. you have to let go of all the pain you may have experienced with other people and release yourself from it. Even if til today you feel they don’t deserve it, you have to forgive them for any wrong they did you. It’s not for them, it’s only and ever for yourself. Because when you forgive someone, you set yourself free from the psychological bondage and oppression you went through. You allow yourself to move on, to go to a better place and connect to better people without any emotional baggage, which in turn enables you to get the most out of the new relationships. And you deserve to be happy.
It’s easy to despise other couples when you see them. Looking so happy, holding hands, showing each other affection. It’s only human to sometimes feel jealous… but you shouldn’t. Everything we feel is energy we send out into the universe and we always get what we give. So, if you’ve been single for longer than you can remember and have been with a string of really lousy people, thus ‘can’t help yourself’ to curse happy couples whenever you cross paths, then you’re always going to attract those kinds of situations because that’s what you’re focusing on inside. Whether you like it or not, you’re subconsciously holding onto it because you have not processed it and made peace with it. The only way to move on is to forgive past wrongs and be happy for couples you meet. Doing so is the opposite of nursing acrimony. Life really is too short to be upset, stuck in the past.
Whether it’s for a romantic relationship, a love relationship or even a relationship between equal sexes, being together with someone else, despite the complications of everyday life, is something all humans innately know, but don’t always consciously resort to. In simple terms, to be with someone, you have to be the kind of person you yourself would want to be with. And not just once or a few times, but always! You’re just that kind of guy or girl. That starts with forgiving yourself, too (oh yes, you deserve it). Forgiving yourself for all the bad decisions and mistakes you made. Forgiving yourself for all the things you messed up in your life and people you hurt. Telling yourself you’re only human if not entirely innocent and despite the past, you still deserve to be happy. Like everyone else does. Becoming the person you want to be with also starts the journey of self love. It’s typical for caring people to see more in others than they do in themselves. To love others more than they do themselves. To want the best for others more than they want for themselves. This is called altruism, selflessness but is also not healthy in the long run. You cannot pour from an empty cup no matter how much you want to. And if you keep on giving but not allowing yourself to receive your very own love as well, your cup will go empty.
Love yourself. With all your flaws and inconsistencies. All the embarrassing times you realized you don’t add up. Your quirks and traits that form your weaknesses. Embrace all of it and accept them as you, yourself. You’re still worth it like L’Oreal and no matter how much pain you’ve experienced, you’re always deserving of love.
While the above are somewhat basic dating tips or dating tips for new relationships, to get even more high quality online dating tips, a great place to go to is a dating advice forum called Meet Your Sweet
It’s a web portal with Expert Dating & Relationship Advice for Men and Women. There, you’ll find a host of in depth articles and loads of solid guidance to not only equip you with knowledge for getting your A-game on, but also help you prevent common mistakes that keep you from experiencing your greatest bliss in being in a relationship.
To become your happiest self and enjoy they way you truly deserve to, you have to Meet Your Sweet.